Sit Down. Shut Up. Index | Normal People... Ugh. | I Wanna Be a Jerk.

Ok. One thing. Mind my language.

Once in a while you'll hear me swear in my rants and so on and so forth. And I do find that swear words can be pretty damn offensive in the manner that you use it. So I try not to use it (well at least in this rant) when I can hold back the urge.

But sometimes, the English language can't crack it when you need to say a really loud @#$%. Everyone uses it as an adjective, a verb, a paraphrasing clause, and some even use it to replace that traditional "hello."

But what really gets me pretty pissy is that there's actually a language police! I'm not joking. There are organizations out there that try to tell you not to use a good loud swear word. Even our school system has prohibited the freedom to the choice of words. What is up with that? The English language is only comprised of millions of words we haven't even heard of. Why focus so much on a selected few? We've got too many real issues to deal with.

We live in a real world where people do swear. I'm definitely not going to seclude myself in some type of fantasyland where everyone is happy and they smile and that McDonald's worker didn't spit into my fries. Rejecting this language is like rejecting a slice of Americana.

But I must agree, the creativity level of America is submerging way below the level of our previous generations. Before, insulters were so gallant and witty with their comebacks. These days, we don't even try. All that comes out is a mechanical "You can @#$%-ing kiss my @$$ you mother @#$%-er."

And it goes on. Perhaps we should stop using these words so much and put them on hold. Nothing is more shocking than that little angelic, brown-nosed, Girl-Scout-cookie-selling squirt telling you to @#$% off. That's what we have to do. Just like potent spices, we should only sprinkle it lightly into our conversations so that we are able to savor it. The world needs to come together to ration what's left of our tattered mess of a language. We as people, as human individuals, must realize that the species of brilliantly structured comebacks is now on the verge of virtual extinction.