Sit Down. Shut Up. Index | The Guy-Friend | Women Vs Men

There are so many names. And still, women like to call them "boobs" or "breasts" just so they can make them sound boring and uninteresting. Forget it. It's not fooling anyone.

I like to call them fun bags. Ok, maybe I don't actually say that in public, but the day I heard that nickname was the day I was laughing my ass off.

Now back on track. This isn't a rant to talk about how great a woman's body is. This is a rant to expose a huge double standard that stupid women push upon on men. Yes, men love breasts. But you love ours too. (Well, not man-breasts... that's just disgusting... eww...)

Don't you get it? Women have always bitched about how men are so boob oriented or how the size of a stuffed bra is the measurement of how popular you are. Screw it. You women love a man's sexy chest just as much as we love yours. But you never hear about that now, do you?

You'll whine about how some girl with a triple D cup will always wear the skankiest, most provocative shirts, yet you'll love it when guys put on their muscle shirts that leave you drooling. Is that not hypocritical? As far as I'm concerned, the whole freaking world is chest obsessed. Yet it's the guys who are allowed to show off while the women are prohibited to reveal.

Why do we cover ourselves up? Are we just stupid or something? You would think Europe with its topless policy and 2001 channels of porn would have all the sexual perverts. No. We as Americans hosts all of the fucking sex-crazed maniacal assholes that invade Central Park and rape the women . Isn't there something wrong with this picture???

Fuck. We air the Howard Stern Radio Show knowing full well that half of the viewers are under 18. We let children surf through the porn-filled Internet. We allow children at the age of 14 to get pregnant. But we won't let them look at public breasts. Mind you, they are the ones that they've been introduced to, the day they've been brought home from the hospital.

And chances are that you're like me. Fun bags aren't everything. If you've got them, great. That's just a bonus. But I've come to realize that many of the sexiest girls with a huge chest are usually bitches who wouldn't even bother talking to normal looking person like me.

That's why I think we should all march up to the White House lawn wearing tight white shirts, tear them off and use them as white true flags. It could symbolize peace and unity. Or some other "symbolic" color that every organization uses to promote their cause (These days, I can't even tell if the red ribbon is for PETA or the NRA).