Mrs. Chick didn't show up. Technically she did, but all I remembered seeing was that she disappeared through the crowds with a cigarette casually held between her fingers.
And strangely enough, the five hours that I worked today was extremely unfulfilling. It wasn't fun. It wasn't hyped up. It's as if there's some correlation with Mrs. Chick's presence and my experience.
I realize now through my rants that I missed her. I missed analyzing her and getting pissed off about how kindly she was treated just because she was smoking hot. I missed trying to figure out what was running through her mind.
But her absence made me realize something else. I was the only one in that whole stand that didn't get some real action. The only one. Maybe it was the age difference; I was the only teenager in the crowd while my co-workers were all at least in their mid 20's. But I still know I was the only one not getting some real loving.
One professional dancer picked up a phone number from a pretty hot chick in a day's work of a whole ten minutes. His brother is built like a bulldozer and had three black belts in martial arts. He managed to flirt with an astounding array of women. Another guy who was "normal" managed to walk off with some random girl and I didn't see him since.
What the hell?!? I don't exactly want to make inferences about my co-workers, but there are evident facts. They're all good-looking men. The dancer is a major player who fucks women without knowing her last name (according to his brother). His brother is a nice guy, but he's extremely stupid. One of those really nice, yet mind-boggling stupid guys. The third is a sex maniac. I mean, when I met him, one of the first things he told me was that he loved breasts. He might as well have said, "Hello. My name is ---- and I'm... I'm a breast addict." He seriously wouldn't shut up about which girl walking past us had a nice rack.
And yet, I hate judging myself, but I know I'M AN EXTREMELY NICE GUY ( The Guy-Friend
). I'm not a sex-crazed maniac like the dancer and the breast-man. And I'm Einstein to the human bulldozer. Yet the only problem with me finding that great girl is that I want to live in both worlds. 
I want a kind, sincere girl who not only can think, but can FEEL. These are qualities generally found in average looking to ugly chicks. Yet I also want her to be well rounded enough to be that rowdy, crazy, hilarious and fucked-up spirit that has a lust for adventure. These qualities are found in really good-looking chicks.
So usually I end up going down one of the two paths. I've been down that intense path of a deep-thinking, emotionally filled relationship. But it seemed to be constantly deep all of the time. I've also been down that crazy, wild path filled with insane stories yet she barely had the intelligence to encompass any intellectual stimulation.
And now I'm not getting any.
And now more and more and more chicks are passing me by without acknowledging my presence when I damn well know I could be their most amazing boyfriend. What an ending. Sucks to be me. |
