Sit Down. Shut Up. Index | M.J. | The Dark Side

It's that time again. Time to go into a world that no sane man dares to set foot in. Feminism.

*shudder*

Feminism sucks.

I should rephrase that... the feminist movement sucks. I'm tired of hearing all of these women bitch and whine about how men dominate the world and that we don't give women a fair chance. Not only do they bitch and whine but they'll also congregate into main streets carrying pieces of paper with "Chauvinist Cowards!" typed on it while others march on pretending that they're making a difference.

As far as feminist rallies go, they're just as successful as the Late Night Show with Martin Short. Why don't all of you stop pretending that bra burning is symbolic of women's liberty and actually do something that makes a difference?

We're men. Half of us are idiots and the rest of us watch tractor pulls with beer goggles. We don't care when women talk... gosh, all of you who've had a loser boyfriend would obviously have picked up on that by now. Do something. Steal our jobs. Kick our asses. Just don't kick my ass too hard (not that you probably haven't already). Are you all satisfied that men dominate the work force while you do the secretarial work?

And yet, I've come up with SuperGrover Twelve-Year Plan. Why don't you support a female president? Since you are so united under feminism, it's quite possible with you holding half of the vote. I'm pretty sure it will take many attempts, but each time, undoubtedly, it will make some headway. (See? I can be compassionate!)

Oh yes, there's one other group you should kick off your bandwagon. The WNBA. Heck, they don't even deserve to have a link. NOBODY respects women's basketball. So tell them to sit down and shut up about equal wages until they play with an equal sized basketball.